Not Your Average Tough Guy

After viewing Jackson Katz’s documentary Tough Guise, I became more aware that the presentation and expectation of traditional masculinity over the course of my life diverges quite drastically from the generalizations presented in the film. For as long as I can remember, my father has been a stay-at-home dad. This, according to the masculinity as presented in the film, is completely counter hegemonic to traditional gender roles set by society. By only experiencing the untraditional upbringing of having my mother work full time and my father raise my sister and me, I’ve come to form my own different view of what masculinity is. Although the aim for the “tough guy” persona still exists, there is evidence to show men are diverging from this traditional masculine role.

Using my father as an example, his job (or rather choice to not hold one) is viewed by society as feminine; hegemony says only mothers should stay at home and rear children. However, the career path he chose before my sister and I came along was one that is viewed as a “man’s job”. For 20 years my father worked as a stonemason in Florida, constructing dozens of buildings. Although he is the one who’s responsibility is to keep the house in order and cook the meals, which is viewed as an overt feminine role, he is also responsible for the yard work and being the handyman, as most husbands are “supposed to”. It is this blurring of lines that I believe has given me great respect for my father as well as a less prejudiced view of what the traditional masculine role should be.